Vicki: First off we should probably say how we met...

Unity: Yeah, because anyone will believe it! We met on a rainy Saturday night at a deserted train station.

Vicki: The train was late as usual and you were going back to work

Unity: More like turning up unannounced after a 6 month no-show. I had been living with a married man and he realised how much a divorce would cost him so dumped me. I had to move back in with my parents in Ash.

Vicki: Very nice. Was he the army guy?

Unity: Yep. I've got to stop falling for that type of man. They treat me like I'm nothing. One of the reasons I changed my hair colour.

Vicki: You were blonde when we met, right? I presume that was from a bottle.

Unity: Yeah. Yours was similar to the colour it is now.

Vicki: No idea! Last week it was red too.

Unity: Cool. But I expect you want to know the dirt about me and stripping. I am a stripper, my stage name is Sarah and I work in a bar in Reading. On my CV it says I'm a waitress.

Vicki: You need a CV to get a job in a strip bar these days?

Unity: It's not like I want to take my clothes off for money. I really want to be a primary school teacher. I'm just saving up some money to afford it.

Vicki: You haven't got a sugar daddy at the moment?

Unity: I have a new one lined up; the last one replaced me for a younger model with fake tits!

Vicki: That sucks. So what do the men who visit you prefer fake or real breasts?

Unity: Most men want it all. They want the size and look of fakes, but also want softness. You ever felt plastic boobs?

Unity: *laughs* Sure sweetie! I world draw the line at some stuff, no old men, and midgets are creepy, no Richard Gere look-a-likes, no animals...

Vicki: Hang on, Richard Gere reference, that's not because I told you the story is it?

Unity: You bet! I am not a hamster kind of girl.

Vicki: *laughs* Fair enough. How about costumes? What do you recommend for a fun night in?

Unity: Little Bo Peep

Vicki: But you said no animals a minute ago.

Unity: You don't have to use the sheep accessory! Not a nun, that is weird. Just something fun, like a French maid or school girl. I don't understand the whole traffic warden, school teacher thing at all!

Vicki: Yeah, the traffic warden one is weird. What do you think the best music to strip to is?

Unity: Nothing soppy or guys start thinking of their kids. Nothing too energetic or you get worn out and sweaty. Sweaty is not sexy. I find old metal is good, stuff like Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin. It makes guys feel young again and like some kind of rock star stud.

Vicki: That is so cheesy, really that works?

Unity: Trust me, and then they tip better as they think they are THE stud . Most men think with their dicks and ego.

Vicki: Last question then you can go off to work. We asked the members of the forum if the had any questions they had ever wanted to ask a stripper, but they were unable to come up with a single cliché. Would you care to provide any?

Unity: My personal favourite is "If I tell you you're pretty will you do me for free?" Guys seem to confuse stripper and whores. Women tend to ask me where I get my clothes from, I mail order online and it costs a fortune for nice stuff! So much 'sexy' underwear that shops sell is all frills and fake lace. That kind of stuff is so unoriginal. You want plain but well made underwear so it emphasises rather that distracts.

Vicki: I will remember that if I ever trade professions! Thanks for the tips, next time you can teach me to pole dance!

Unity: You know my number!