Vicki: The names you use in this band seem to afford you distance from your other bands. Why not just use Gwar-style costumes?

Misery: Because that would just be miles too cool for us. The names aren't stage names, they are just what we call each other.. Misery is me because im a miserable bastard, and Dave's a cxnt. Drunken's real name is Dunken but he's always pissed, and when I met Dirty he was introduced to me as Dirty and had been called that long before joining Mistress - even on the first Sally album he was called that. Oh, and Migg is just Mick in a necro voice.

Vicki: A couple of reviews have labeled Mistress as depressing, in particular 'Goatboy' and 'Lord worm' from the first album, I really like these two and don't find them depressing, did watching Orange Goblin too many times in small venues make me too happy?

Misery: Maybe, yeah. We try to be depressing and heavy but maybe we failed...

Vicki: Given the sheer number of bands that various members of Mistress are in (Benediction, Anaal Nathrakh, Fukpig, Frost, Sally, Katastrophe Wife) and the differing styles of music that each play does this help the overall mix that feeds in Mistress?

Misery: Yeah, the influences come from different places. We all listen to loads of differant music, from James Brown to classical to KISS to Napalm Death and all these influences come out when we jam. Some bands go all poppy and shit because they want to try a differant direction where as we just think 'I wanna do a grindcore band' so we do it. We ask one or two of the others and do it straight away. There's loads of other bands that we do as well as the above bands, like I do a hip hop band on my own which I have been working on for 3 years. Mick does about 10 bands and features on other peoples recordings like Aborym and Disgust. There's loads to do so we do it.

Vicki: On a related note, when did Dirty join Katastrophe wife? I have 'Amusia' which he is not on, but he is on 'Liberty Belle'.

Misery: Well, you answered yourself there; it was between the 2 recordings. He's been in them for about 2 years maybe, and Parker from Sally is the other guy with him. He gets to fly to America for free and play Lady Fests and stuff. Lucky bastard...

Vicki: Given your publicised dislike of current musical trends ("Evanescence? Bollocks!") which bands would you like to see get more coverage?

Misery: Mistress. Fukpig. Frost. Professor Fate. Sally. Misery. One. Anaal Nathrakh... Basically anything we do. There's a few bands we have played with that were cool, but I can't remember the names.

Vicki: Have you seen your stalker lately? I stumbled accross his posts on the 'Favourite Brummies' section of a messageboard called 'Birmingham is not shit', in which he wrote of his pride at having been mentioned by you in Terrorizer.

Misery: Nah, not latley. Good job too.

Vicki: Which is more appealing, legs or breasts?

Misery: Breasts easily, the bigger the better.. 'specially on dark haired or black haired girls. But not on men 'cos that's horrid!

Vicki: How closely do you subscribe to the theory that "Hell is Other People"?

Misery: Well everyone seems to be a cxnt latley. 'Specially people that work in shops and people that take out the whole family shopping. Bastards..

Vicki: Care to recommend a book?

Misery: Tim Burton's Melencholy Death of Oyster Boy is good. I just read 1984 which I liked. I didn't read it at school. You see, I went to school in a shit hole in Tamworth where we learned about American Indians, which was of great use to me.... I read all the time though, mainly biographies.

Vicki: What is your favourite TV detective series?

Misery: Danger Mouse.

Vicki: What would it take for you try for the Christmas number one singles slot?

Misery: A load of money. I could write a Crimbo song in like 10 mins. If anyone wants to offer a load of cash you can have it.

Vicki: If you could be any origami animal what would you be?

Misery: A squirrel. Or a Badger. Can you make them?

Vicki: Do you think the long promised new Guns 'n' Roses' album actually exists?

Misery: Nope, though the first one was ace.

Vicki: Would you include Manowar in your list of influences?

Misery: Hell yeah. We even do a cover of Each dawn I die, which is gonna be recorded soon.

Vicki: Critique this picture submitted to an internet dating site:
http://www.faceparty.com/public/656/images/hilldawg13_4449562.jpg (local mirror)

Misery: He looks really tuff.